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Their arrogant attitude, their belief that they were so pure in their righteousness that they were beyond good and evil and that I was still a sinner made my stay with them very uncomfortable. So after a week with them in the ranch I left you, with whom they had bonded very well, to pass the summer and I returned home and to your father, who truth be told, never badmouthed my parents or told me "I told you this would happen". In that moment I loved him more if that was possible.From then on, if you remember became customary for you to visit your grandparents during the holidays, almost always alone, I would put you on the plane and your grandparents would go to meet you at the bus airport. I was very glad the way you three bonded.Your holiday visits to your grandparents continued until that terrible day when you left the house and me forever. After that afternoon in which I flirted shamelessly with you half-naked, and you reacted trying to caress my breast. When I responded by. "Yeah! we're going into the minimum security level, not with the Lifers,"chuckled Frank."That may very well be. But that is only for a month at best. THEN you'refair game and are bound to become some Man's Sissy. Hope that you twoenjoy it," I said as they quaked in fear.[*][*][*]As I left, I began to question myself over my recent visit to mytormentors. As a Christian, should I relish their pain, fear and despairover my attack that had unmanned them so thoroughly? Would killing themhave been a mercy? Was I even a Christian for wanting to hurt them as Idid? Could I be Saved?Before the attack, I'd been ready to go into the Ministry. Grant as aPastor, me as a Youth Pastor/Minister of Music with my decided talents inmusic and Calling into the Ministry. According to Pastor Franks, he wouldbe retiring soon and would vouch for us to start our Ministry at our HomeChurch.But now I felt dirty and unclean. In my mind, there was absolutely no waythat the lord could accept me into the Ministry..
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